I have to push  myself harder. A lot harder.

21.07.2012

  I think all those bad feeling, no, horrible feeling I've been experiencing lately, are because of ritalin withdrawal. Ritalin is a miracle drug when it comes to studying, but comes with horrible side effects. So I think I should gradually stop using it. I don't know what can I use instead and I don't know what kind of ways I 'll study again. But I think I should find less-miracle, but more natural ways.
 I can't mention this about to my family though, especially to my mum, because she'll start blaming me again!!! It doesn't matter that I'm 29 years old. She'll still make me feel like a guilty child again.

 Things have to change. I have to change. 

 NORMALIZATION !!!

 I don't know what to tell to whom anymore. Or how.

 I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free

 I won't wait anymore, I will prioritize.

 I've decided to spend less money on the house, cleaning etc, more on myself !